“Heraclitus once said that “one cannot bathe in the same river twice”. Why? Because it won’t ever be the same river – since water is in constant movement – and because, I believe, one is not the same person either.

We are always changing. Getting stronger. Weaker. Happy. Sad. Automatic. On standby. Alive. I change everyday and so does my life.

I’m tired of thinking stupid stuff but that’s something I can’t help. I’m a thinker, which doesn’t mean that I think useful things, I just think all the time. Anyway, this time…I’m thinking about our future, my future.

I’ve been waiting for a blessed phonecall that won’t make my phone ring yet. I’m moving to the USA this year, soon, but I don’t know when or where to. This is exactly what I’ve been telling the whole cyberspace. Sigh. Sometimes I’m afraid people will start thinking I’m a liar. I’ll work as an Au Pair. I’ve been feeling miserable all this time because I never got a single call from a host family that would be willing to receive me at their house. “Be patient and wait till Obama takes office” – people have been telling me for months. It’s been four days since. I am excited. I must admit I’m both excited for the states and for the whole world, and because this is the only token I have left. My only hope. If he makes them feel at ease again, maybe, they will call.

It is funny to think that I believe a president will change my life – in a certain way. People just think that’s what is missing, Obama and the stability he’ll bring with him.

Nobody stopped to think that maybe the fact that I quit smoking may have its influence too. Or the fact that I’ve been volunteering at a Summer camp. Or the fact that I’m no longer picky about children’s ages.
I wonder who I’ll be within some months. Once I’m away from this bedroom with its pink walls that have been my escape for years. I wonder what I’ll become. I will change. More.

Our world will change and I’ll see that from a new perspective, soon. I’ll start living the american dream one day, and I’m afraid – sometimes – that it will change me, too much.