It’s as simple as putting the biscuit in the basket

I hit a new landmark on twitter, ’round about 2:43 pm on March the 6th… it went something like this -

Candace made a comment a couple of posts ago that I am well versed, especially when it comes to women. The tweet above came into being because I consistently get mistaken for a gal on twitter – by both gals and guys… A “How you doin?!” at the guys, from me, really does freak them out!

So I wanted to reply back to Candace in the comments…. but maybe it’s time the gloves did come off… my twitter folk assume I am a gal because of how polite I am (supposedly) and because of my mannerisms. Although I am not going to disclose who I am… this is as close as a lot of you will come to knowing about the real me.

So really, why am I nice and polite and what not? What REALLY makes me, me?

First of all, more than anything, it’s my belief in god. I constantly think – if that big guy who has all the powers (including the one to fry my brains out with a lightning bolt) and I were to meet – how would I approach him, appeal to him, communicate with him? It’s an obvious answer! I am so going to be Mr Goody 2 Shoes! For those who don’t believe in God – no worries, just go with the flow for now, ok? So my first fear and motivation comes from the big guy above – he rewards exactly and in proportion to my actions.

The next part is a combination of my parents, family and culture – I am of Indian origin, one of the most giving people you will ever meet. There is one and only one reason why Indian people run 7-11 stores – it is because we are too damn generous – we give 7 days a week! My family has roots in India and through the ages in Afghanistan. One thing which anyone and everyone who knows an Afghan will tell you that when it comes to giving – they will give you their life – NO QUESTIONS ASKED! Another characteristic about the Afghans is their hospitality (and ofcourse the Indians are the same too!); you will never go hungry in either of these two societies!

I am aware of a fair few societies; I was born in the UK and have lived in a conservative Middle East which progressively became liberal to a certain extent. For the last 10 years, I have lived in an uber liberal society which I cannot understand or decipher, I spent 3 years figuring out the Turks, and I still haven’t got a clue – I am destined to move, mix, and fuse… I am the eternal Bedouin.

My parents and family – ah well, like anyone elses – the best. They have kept me grounded and exposed me to the values in which we believe in. There can never be enough said about them.

My religion plays a huge part in my personality. I am Muslim, and I pride myself in that. I love to talk to people about Islam in a way that I can pass on my limited knowledge, yet in a way that it is applied in today’s day and age. Religion for me is something which creates your beliefs. It’s a disconnect from god; religion is a path to righteousness to a great extent.The greatest of ALL things which I have learnt from my religion is patience. Over the last 5 years – this is what I have prided myself on. You can try and break me… it will be a long and fairly welcome stay for you…. but you WILL leave before me!

So – those are the core things which set my foundations…. but who REALLY am I?

I, my friends, am a student of the school of hard knocks; my journey – well, the Rockies have been known to be a smooth surfaced road.

As a kid, and I guess into my early twenties, I have always been described as someone with great potential. I have never delivered. People who know me, and read me regularly know that I call it as I see it; for me – I never made excuses for not delivering, however, there was always someone there to put me down. But I remained me; I stood up, dusted myself, until I was down again.

One thing which I have a great deal of is pride. I take pride in who I am, what I do and where I go. Sure, there has always been support on the way, but I chose not to take it. One thing that the school of hard knocks taught me was to be me; I am an alternative to everything, always have been, always will be. I don’t believe in doing things the way it has always been done – there isn’t anything to be gained or learnt from that, so I do things differently… I do things my way. In all of this – I remember modesty; lack of it – and guess where you end up? You got it – on the floor!

The school of hard knocks has also taught me respect. When you are down, there are a lot of people down there with you. What you learn is to understand and accept them as who they are. When you then stand up, you know how to give others a hand, or how to treat them with the respect that they deserve. This is something which cannot be taught… it just happens.

What the school of hard knocks also teaches you is to let go; not let go of hope, but let go of bitterness. How many grudges will you hold when you keep hitting the floor? How many will you remember? If you kept busy remembering them – when will you stand up again? Life has taught me that letting go of the hatred towards the one who pushed you down is the right thing to do. When you do that, you build up this thing called patience, which is the greatest inner strength of them all.

And finally, politeness. This – I didn’t learn from anywhere except my own self. Treat others the way you want to be treated yourself. Everyone says this – it’s easy to talk. Very few apply this to themselves. Politeness cannot be taught or practiced. It happens. I am not perfect, nobody is – but by using my mind before my tongue, I think I know how truthful I will be to myself.

These are all characteristics – when put together and applied – well, it comes close to making a decent person. I am not a good judge of people…. but I am a great observer. Put me in company of someone for a day, and I will predict accurately how they will react and make decisions in their life time. Don’t believe me? Well, you can’t believe until you try, no? I love to observe people, their actions, their thoughts; accordingly – I react. Each person is an individual, and each person is treated differently – they say that all 5 fingers are not the same, in the same way neither is my love towards all!

From a personal perspective – there are a lot of guys out there who don’t get the credit that they deserve. Their actions go unnoticed, ignored, and swept under the carpet. What everyone needs is a good clean mind, and a clean heart – 24/7 – that’s what makes you a goodfella; whether everyone can achieve this – that is another question.

So to answer your question Candace, neither am I well versed, nor do I have a way of putting forward a view to women. I treat each and everyone of you as I expect to be treated myself – what I do make sure of though – is that I am consistent.

That makes me….. Me.