When I look back at what I was like during primary school, I realise that now, five years later, I am completely different. I’m not exactly sure how it happened (but I’m sure those crazy women I call my friends had something to do with it 
) but it happened and I don’t really regret it. I’ve become a better me since primary-I have a better understanding of things, I’m more outgoing, a little crazier (just a little 
) and much more friendlier (or so I like to think).
But what’s gonna happen when I move to college? When I leave the safe haven I call my high school and my second (actually, third) home. Will my experiences in college change me? Will the people I hang around me influence me? It’s nuts to think they won’t, I know they will-but just how much? At the end of my two (I’m thinking very long and very difficult) years at college, will I be a completely different person than I am now? Will I regret changing? Or will I be glad I’ve changed and thank God I’ve become a better person-wait, will I even become a better person? Gasp! What if I become worse? Dear Gott in Himmel, I need to think about this some more.
Anyway, I don’t wanna change. I like being me! It’s crazy but it’s nice! I don’t wanna turn into one of those stupid women who fall over themselves to please a guy (yuck) and walk around in skirts so short that you can tell they’re not wearing anything underneath (blee!). That is SOOOOOO not me. For Pete’s sake (whoever the heck Pete is) I’m the girl who cried herself to sleep when a guy asked her if he could add her on MSN! I run into the other room when there’s a knock on the door because I’m not covered properly even though it’s only my aunty! (Which is a bit mad, but whatever!)
I’m a Muslimah.
I don’t wanna become one of those girls who are Muslims on the outside and so not on the inside. The ones who wear the hijab in front of their families and as soon as they’re out of their sight they strip down to clothes so tight they look like they’ve been sewn on.
Good grief.
I hope to God I don’t change-unless it’s to become a better person, of course. I have to refuse to let my environment and the people around me to lower me in my own eyes. I have to STICK to what I believe in.
When I was child
I saw in black and white
Everything was obvious
Either wrong or right.
No arguments, no pros and cons
Choices were precise.
Pure and joyous clarity gave me a simple life.
So I grew and learned to face the world
Living life that way.
And now I feel so unprepared
‘Cause black and white turned gray.
My unfaltering vision failed
Focus left my eyes.
When choices were once obvious
I can’t tell wrong from right.
Because today I am a teenager
And nothing’s quite so clear.
I’m seeing through an adult’s eyes
A child’s biggest fear.
Constance Ananta Sobsey
Taken from Chicken soup for the teenage soul 2
Page 23
Love, Falak
Hi, name is Falak and I blog over at Starry Eyed Book Lovers
Wow! I really really enjoyed this post..it’s awesome.. I once read “chiken soup for yhe soul” or something like that…anyway..no introduction? Anything?
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Sincerely F, i dont think you will be one of ‘those girls’ you’ll change sure you will, every one does and all you have to do is pray that it’ll be for the better. Stick to your faith and avoid the bad crowd like the plague and you’ll be fine. And if you need help, well – you know where to find me.
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I’ve stalked you here
Great post though! I think, if you’re worried about going bad, you don’t have much to worry about (nonsensical as it sounds). You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, it seems, and as long as you recognise bad company and steer well clear of it you’ll be grand, inshAllah
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I always believe in the fact that – if people have an idea of what/who they want to be, and are actually striving towards being that person, then they don’t have too much to worry about in life. Your natural tendency is to move towards the good things, and all you have to do is to make sure you don’t stray away from the right path!
I also find your belief in yourself, as a muslimah, a very impressive quality. You know what you stand for, and inshallah as you grow older you will become a stronger person within that mould.
Keep your focus on who you want to be, and inshallah, Allah will direct you on the right path!
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I think that being aware of the potential for negative change is an excellent indication that you will be able to catch yourself before you fall, inshaAllah.
Great post, and excellent reminder that not all change is good change.
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I agree with outcast…. i don’t think you’re gonna veer offtrack, InshaAllah.
As long as you’re aware of it, you’re gonna do the right thing.
Just never try to silence your conscience. Its your best guide.
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Awesome description from childhood till teenage
Would love to see the post after 3-4 years 
and m happy that ur proud to be a Muslimah 
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